Archive~My Links~ Oh! waking is a bitter nightmare..when you constantly hang around the fringes of my dreams.. ..my foundation is crumbling and shattered glass is falling all over sidewalks.. ..i am collapsing and i am collapsing on myself.. i am shards of glass..and i am the person being wounded by the glass.. ..there is a certain beautiful honesty about depression.. ..will Candy and honey not ..sweeten the Bitter acrimony of life? ..if truth indeed be a fallacy, then should reality not be a lie? Truth is like water. A little of it quenches your thirst Too much of it..and you drown. |
Friday, August 29, 2003
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/29/2003
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/29/2003
 You represent... happiness. Boy, are you full of cheer or what...? You have a sunny disposition and enjoy trying to spread your happiness. You have a tendency to be a little hyper, but you have the ability to make your own fun no matter what. What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/29/2003
 Power Rangers Movie! What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!) brought to you by Quizilla
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/29/2003
Shania Twain-You're modest and humble and you like
to spend time with your loved ones! You are bound to last. Which Music Artist Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/29/2003
creative: you are an individual at school and thats
why your friends all think you're amazing. you offer a shoulder to cry on when people need on, you give good advice and overall a very good friend. you enjoy being in the company of others, particularly those closest to you and sometimes depend on your friends too much. but apart from being dependent, you can mostly make it on your own and excel over others. you are fun, good natured and a great person to be around! what kind of girl are you? brought to you by Quizilla
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/29/2003
here goes another session of ramblings by an emtionally unstable and confused 18 year old..mainly..urs truely..
Uni life aint really great after all. Its boring with a capital B. im serious. I go thru my uni life being bored and gettin bored and i have no idea wad so ever wad the heck the lecturer is talking abt really. the pple in my literature class r sooooo SMART!!!!! i feel soooo demoralised. I used to think i wasnt bad in lit, but now i tink i plain suck in it. And my knowledge is all cold and mediocre compared to these intellects. sighz. I used to be called a 'Lit genius" in secondary school, and i guess i kinda liked e title..its kinda nice knowing u r good in something u noe..but right now i just feel so redundant and lost!! These pple r jus too good! And everyone was discussing the book on monday! It was almost as if everyone had an idea abt wad was going on, and i swear everyone had an opinion, and i was just in a state of pure confusion, and it didnt help that my head felt as if a metallica concert were taking place in it... And i was sooo super quiet thru out the lesson ( wad could i say????) that these pple in my grp were asking me abt my opinions and i just said " um..actually i haven even read the book.." ( well..i dint get past page one..i mean sincewhen r literature books ever readable? i tot they were onli good to be put on the shelf to admire. COme on..no one READS lit books..) and these pple actually looked shocked at my response. Man..i feel so like an alien now. I mean.. i didnt realli tink anyone wld be able to finish a whole lit book. COme on..i din even finish a single book for my A levels but i did pretty fine..but i guess thats the diff between uni and A levels. Maybe im not so good at what i tot i was good at after all.. well theatre prac classes r pretty cool. Im having some fun there..its like we play these games there n my teacher is really quite hilarious. But other than that..school is a complete drag. i dunno..maybe i should join an eca or something so sch dosent get so tedious or boring but i cat really tink of any good ccas to join and everything is abt auditions and stuff. Uni life jus proves my point. if ure not good in anything, you can forget abt belonging .. my christian life aintlooking very good either...i tink it was even better in Jc. i mean i used to like prayevery nite n do my quiet time but now..sighz..i really realy need to make an effort to change oh yup..and i decided to stop making all those unrealistic resolutions too! those resolutions abt how i should be more gentle and less chor lor and more feminine and stuff? i tink i should just throw thoe notions out of the window. Coz whether i like it or not, this is who i am. And the sooner i start accepting myself for the way i am, the sooner my life gets better. And Plus i dun tink i needs to change myself for anyone at all. because tis is who i am. I am Dawn wong, and like it or not, this is me. like me or not. This is me. All my past failures, my sucesses, and my inadequacies, its me. All me. And im not perfect and will never be. So im a "drama queen" , a "dramama" but so what? this is just the way i am. i used to get accpet when pple used to say " eh..why u so drama one.." or "u damn drama lei.." and i used to feel bad coz i felt as if it were something very negative and i felt very condemned. And i tried to change it, to tone down, to be less drama and stuff.. But i realised i couldnt because it was and it is inherently already a part of me. Its in my blood, and i did try hard to get rid of it but i just couldnt. Because this is me. Im just being myself. And i dun see why i have to change myself just because of what others say..because at least im being myself and im not afraid to show to world what time like despite the chances of me facing negative comments. Its better then hiding behind a mask and pretending to be who im not. So im loud, so im crude, so im wacky, so im crazy, so im weird, and so im drama.. but if i were not..would i still be Dawn? Its precisely because of all these, that makes me who i am! and if anyone is ever listening ..as cliche as this sounds,. Just dun be afraid to be yourself. HEck what the whole damnn world thinks because u may be able to change a little bit but there r somethings in u that ur born with and will never change. You dun have to be the person others wants you to be. Im not and never will be. And its tough coz i mayb face difficulties but so wad? im tired of alwaes having to make myself miserable to death to conform to other's expectations of me. I will never be a normal person..i am different. SO? All of us r unique and i tink we should be allowed to express that uniqueness....so i guess as much as i complain..well..i need to accept this fact too..
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/29/2003
Friday, August 15, 2003
i had a really bad bad bad hair disaster todae! the hairdresser made this super bad mistake, an bleached my whole head including the whole scalp. And for that moment in my life. i was truly legally blonde. and no, it wasnt like bleached barbie blonde, or sunkissed highlights blonde, but it was like Peroxide golden monkey blonde. yes. the whole head. I almost died while staring at myself in the mirror. and not only that my hair was all fallin off coz the bleach was too strong! and plus my scalp hurt like mad...and the hairdresser kept denying that he was in the wrong, and kept making it sound like it was my fault. MY FAULT??? hello..u gotta be kidding..who wld want hair like that????? ( unless u happen to be related to simba the lion king..or if u r a big fan of sun wu kong) i mean u r already feeling dead miserable like hell abt ur hair and ur hair dresser acts like its no big deal?? man.. plus it didnt help tt my already dry hair now had the texture of dry coarse sun baked grass... and i mean death valley 190 degrees sunbaked hair. now my hair is as coarse as can be, and even a horse's arse looks better. Thankz to this disaster i will not qualify to appear in any pantene advertisements anytime soon
however its amazing how i managed to remain so calm abt the whole calamity. i jus told my hair dresser to fix the whole thing. anywae right now it looks ALOT better tho i wldnt say im gona win any hair competitions soon.. anywae my hair is still very rough coarse and brittle now, but at least it isnt golden monkey blonde. And tho my sis says my hair still looks gross but i cant re dye it again. my ahir will jus drop off in clumps. The bleach used was too strong. Besides even tho its gross its still better then golden monkey do, so even tho i cringe sometimes wen i catch sight of my reflection, i still make do. Im tink the hairdresser in philippines was so much better! and cheaper. man..this was such a rip off..anywae im ona invest in a nice good hat till my hair grows longer ( coz the roots r kinda blonde n it looks like ive this bald patch) i noe it it sounds funny but it certainly aint no joke esp if its on ur head... any good hair dressers to recommend?!?!
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/15/2003
i had a really bad bad bad hair disaster todae! the hairdresser made this super bad mistake, an bleached my whole head including the whole scalp. And for that moment in my life. i was truly legally blonde. and no, it wasnt like bleached barbie blonde, or sunkissed highlights blonde, but it was like Peroxide golden monkey blonde. yes. the whole head. I almost died while staring at myself in the mirror. and not only that my hair was all fallin off coz the bleach was too strong! and plus my scalp hurt like mad...and the hairdresser kept denying that he was in the wrong, and kept making it sound like it was my fault. MY FAULT??? hello..u gotta be kidding..who wld want hair like that????? ( unless u happen to be related to simba the lion king..or if u r a big fan of sun wu kong) i mean u r already feeling dead miserable like hell abt ur hair and ur hair dresser acts like its no big deal?? man.. plus it didnt help tt my already dry hair now had the texture of dry coarse sun baked grass... and i mean death valley 190 degrees sunbaked hair. now my hair is as coarse as can be, and even a horse's arse looks better. Thankz to this disaster i will not qualify to appear in any pantene advertisements anytime soon
however its amazing how i managed to remain so calm abt the whole calamity. i jus told my hair dresser to fix the whole thing. anywae right now it looks ALOT better tho i wldnt say im gona win any hair competitions soon.. anywae my hair is still very rough coarse and brittle now, but at least it isnt golden monkey blonde. And tho my sis says my hair still looks gross but i cant re dye it again. my ahir will jus drop off in clumps. The bleach used was too strong. Besides even tho its gross its still better then golden monkey do, so even tho i cringe sometimes wen i catch sight of my reflection, i still make do. Im tink the hairdresser in philippines was so much better! and cheaper. man..this was such a rip off..anywae im ona invest in a nice good hat till my hair grows longer ( coz the roots r kinda blonde n it looks like ive this bald patch) i noe it it sounds funny but it certainly aint no joke esp if its on ur head... any good hairdressers to recommend?!?!?!??!?!
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/15/2003
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
something really crazy happened today! haha. We were on our way to have lunch on campus. Then apparently Jian Hua and hsiao fen were arguing about the arts bash. Jian Hua kept saying he wanted to go coz he wanted to get to know pple, and hsiao fen kept opposing him by saying that it was possible to noe pple everywhere, in the otilet, the library, the canteen and whereverm, n not necessarily at a party. So the two of them were having this heated debate as we made our way down to the business canteen, and jian Hua kept insisting it was not possible to get to noe pple elsewhere but at a party. so suddenly hsiao fen said she would prove it! And tehn she jus spun around and started introducing herself to this guy tt was walking past us!
now that guy looked reaally reaaally familiar. As she stuck out her hand to intro herself, he looked quite mortified, and so did the gal beside him..and frankly i almost died from embarassment too. then the guy introduced himself as kenneth, and was taken aback! kenneth was my sister's good fren from law!!! Now to make things even more horrifying, jus wen were havin lunch at the biz canteen, i suddenly spied that kenneth person sitting in front of us, and i was commenting abt it to the rest. And then suddenly i realised that the gal sitting in front of him was my sister!! my goodness. i was so shocked i almost wanted to disappear ( and so did hsiao fen) anywae in the end we decided to make this hasty getaway to the arts canteen! it was so embarassing! but indeed to world is sooo small! anywae the reason why we ate in the biz canteen is coz the arts canteen is so unbelievable crowded! i mean half the pple arent even there to eat lor. I mean u see pple from med fac, engine fac and all other faculties there, and half the pple there r just " to see and be seen" types. which up till now i still dun understand wad is so nice to see at the arts canteen or why hanging out there wld be so cool or fun! i guess since im already in arts ..i wld not be expected to understand! anywae the political science lecture was like the most boring thing in the world. the minute i saw the lecture notes, i knew that i was in the wrong lecture! It was two hours of pure suffering, and the lecturer spoke with this ultra thick accent so i could hardly understand a thing she was saying. Im gonna die real bad during the exams and i i noe it. And the essay questions! goodness! it was a mistake man..i shld never had taken Pol science! and now im so not looking foward to the philosophy lecture this friday. Its prob gonna be some ambigious crap that i won't understand a single word of ! so much for tring to be an intellect and trying to be arty farty. i will never take anything as "avant garde" or "radical" like philosophy anymore....so much for trying to be a "wannabe".. hmm..
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/13/2003
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
hey..i noe i have not been blogging for like the longest time ever..so many things have happened since then!! gosh..really...
so many things have changed now! and im now officially a UNIVERSITY student! yahooo... tho i never liked sch..but i kinda miss the feeling of going back to sch..rather then working like all e time!!!!!! im sooo sick of working life!! even though i admit working life has taught me a hell lotta things, and plus in my line of job i get opportunities to be picked up quite often!! haha...kidding..but any guy who has to use cheesy pick up lines muz really be pretty crappy and desperate and loserish with a capital L!!! anywae to u-noe-who-u-r ( even tho u prob wont read this..not after everything..) im glad tt we r finally speaking after all these months even though erm..we still dun talk much and conversation is very awkward and limited, but i jus wanna say that wad i wrote or said to u those few months ago, still apply. i still care very much for u, six years ago, and now six years later. i still care for u equally much one year ago, and one year later now. though maybe things aint exactly working out now, but im glad to see ur happy where u r now, and i guess even though we made so many plans like how we were going to school together, gonna stay in the hostel together and so on, i guess sometimes in life we really need to move on. I will still be here always, wen u need a fren, but i guess we both need to the freedom to go in different directions, to grow the way each of us really want to. I finally understand that perhaps while we both needed each other in the past, maybe its different now, i guess our needs change, and what we both need may be very different, and i dunno wad u need now, but maybe i just can't give it to u, but the best thing i can do as a fren , is let u grow in the direction u want to, which is what im doing now, so i guess even wen i tok to u i need to thread carefully, and guard myself, so i don't let old emotional me spoil things. i think i have sorted it out now, and its good we can remain cordial. i asked for too much in the past but now i won't even ask for anything. well anywae, its gona be a whole new chapter of my life in uni, i noe wad happened in the past, how my lie has alwaes been so emo-and drama will continue, but im trying to change that ive gotm a few resolutions 1) less chor lor ( less rough) 2) moe feminine however..i noe no matter wad i sae its gona be hard for me to change!!!!!! haha todae, i ponned the freshman inauguration ceremony in school, which in my opinion is a waste of time , electricity and precious resources. HEllo...how cld anybody even WANT to go for that thing? then i tried convincing my Og grp pple to Pon that boring thing but i tink they were all scared and didnt want to. perhaps coz the majority wanted to stay. Anywae i still stood my ground and said that there was no way i was ever going in coz it was gona be boring like anything and i rather be ANYWHERE else then there. and i said even if no one was following me i wld go off alone coz i wld never step in there. well..initially everyone seemed reluctant, but in the end guess wad?? half my grp ended up following me!! haha..i guess pple were afraid to be the minority ..but i didnt really care la..coz i jus did not wanna go at all!!!! anywae, i tink the gals in my Og think im some sort of pai kia coz of this!! come on la..iots jus ponning..no big deal rite :P besides..everyone does it.. and i was infamous for it in jc.. haha but ive tonned down alot now..realy..its just that todae was really really boring..
dawn fairy on the moon at 8/05/2003
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